little man

:: 15 months old ::

Little man! Our hilarious, outgoing, spirited, sweet little man!

You are starting to love to sing even more these days. To say that it brings joy to my heart is an understatement. I LOVE it! It used to be that in the car when you’d hear music you’d start bopping or clapping or slapping your knees. And although you still do that, you sometimes now just start singing along. It’s possibly the cutest thing ever.

You love the song “Five little speckled frogs, sat on a speckled log, eating some most delicious bugs, yum yum!” I sing it to you with the motions and you scream with laughter. You think it is one of the funniest things mum does and of course that makes me feel like a champion mom. :) Sometimes you do some of the motions with me, but mostly you just laugh and squeal and scream in delight!

We got a membership to the Reef Aquarium this month. We’ve been twice so far and it’s so much fun. You run from window to window checking out the fish and sharks and turtles. You don’t stay still for very long at any one point, but you clearly love it. You got a little bit frightened at the sharks and sting rays, but mostly because they are way bigger than you I think! (Not scared to the point of crying or anything, but just clinging a little tighter or wanting “up” if you aren’t already.)

You’ve started getting really worked up when you want to get my attention about something. And I mean really. You wave your hands and start speaking really fast in a very high pitched voice and just get more and more worked up until I stop whatever it is I’m doing (talking to someone, looking at a meal I’m preparing, typing, etc.). You get so loud and so frantic that I have to try not to laugh. I also have to try not to get frustrated! You clearly have no idea that the world doesn’t revolve around you yet, so you expect me to be right in tune with whatever interests you at any given point in time. Wow, it is quite the scene. I’ve actually never seen a little kid get worked up like that before when he needs/wants someone’s focus. I suppose you just have a real desire to be heard and understood. I do my best to meet you in it, but will also be glad when you learn to say “excuse me” and wait your turn!

Daddy in has been in Papua New Guinea for most of this month. It’s been hard for us to have him away – I especially miss him very much. But he’s having a great time on outreach (missing us badly too of course) and he’s just where God needs him to be. You and I have been getting along just fine. I’m a little more tired than usual, and I miss daddy’s help with taking care of you, the house, and meals, but I’ve also seen that God is our sustainer and he is helping us flourish despite our circumstances. We’ll both be glad to have him home though.

You’ve gotten to talk to him on the phone a couple of times while he’s been away. That’s been really fun and cute to see. Mostly you just listen (and love that you get to hold the phone yourself) but sometimes you chatter away to him as well. That’s the best.

While dad’s been away we’ve had Auntie Katie move in with us. It’s been fun having her upstairs with us. She loves you so much and is always so happy to bathe you, feed you, play with you, change you, or whatever. She’s been a huge support to me while dad’s been away, and she’s also been such a good friend. You enjoy and trust her too, and obviously have fun with her. We all love her very much.

You’re engaging more on Skype these days too, much to the delight of Gigi and Nanny especially. You still will only sit for a few minutes before you’re off to grab a story or whatever, but you do interact and talk much more than you used to.

We’ve also had Easter this month! Before Daddy left we had a big Easter egg hunt where we invited all the base kids and families to our house, had a big morning tea spread, and all the kids gathered eggs. It was really fun. Daddy was away on the actual Easter day but we still had a great time. We dyed eggs in the morning, went to church, and then had a bunch of friends over for a big meal together. It was really fun. I also got you your first Easter basket. You got a little ducky, a Peter Rabbit storybook, and some candy… but I ate all your candy. Maybe next year I’ll let you have some more. :) You did get to try a couple of jellybeans though. You loved them but then spit them out after you had sucked them down a little.

Speaking of storybooks, you still love them. And I mean love. You can’t seem to get enough and always have at least three piles of books around the house – often four (your room, the living room, our bedroom, and the office). I think you’d take books with you in the bath if we let you. :)

You don’t seem to be teething any more. Those molars never did come through so I guess we have more teething to look forward to! I’ve heard that it can take months of teething on and off with molars, so I suppose we’re right on track. Yikes.

Your mimicking is in full swing now. Everything I do you love to do too. I even had to get you your own dust pan and hand broom because I could never get the floor swept without you under my feet grabbing at mine and whining about it. You also love to brush hair (and my hair), play with my make-up (which you only get to do when you’re sitting down with me as I put it on!), help stir things in the kitchen, use a washcloth to wash up things, hang up laundry, and anything else you see me doing. Oh, and belts! You love playing with my belts and always try to put them on (they get swung behind your neck – so funny).

Well my love, you continue to surprise, challenge, and delight me. Your dad and I just love you to pieces. He will be home soon, and I know he can’t wait to hug you and kiss you again. Thank you for being yourself – such a precious little boy whom we adore.

love mama xo

now you're talkin!

:: 14 months ::

Our little dude the talker! Your vocabulary has really exploded this last month.

You now say beh beh (belly button), wah-ta (water), up, da (dog), truh (truck), cah (car), ah da (all done), weh da (well done), hello, was-sis-sis (what is this?), uh-ta (up please), do ta-ch (don't touch), gra (giraffe), cah (croc/crocodile), hot, ba (ball), clock.

You’ve added some new signs too. You now sign all done, more, help, please. Your most used one is please (pretty sure you also think it means “I want” or “give me”) and then a close second is more (which you sometimes use as “more” but also sometimes use as “I want” or “give me”). Your “help me” sign isn’t the real one, but it’s your own version – both hands waiving around up high. Pretty funny, but we know what you mean.

We’ve been playing outside a lot these days. It’s still hot but the brutal part of the summer is mostly over and it’s getting nicer and nicer to be outside. We set up the wading pool and give you the hose on low and you just have a ball. It’s one of our favorite ways to spend a family afternoon on Sundays.

For your birthday you got a new swing from Gigi and Gramps. I found an old swing set frame on freecycle and dad’s set it up in the backyard for you. You LOVE it and cannot get enough of it. And very rarely... you actually fall asleep in it. :)

You also love it when daddy’s lets you play with his iPhone. You put it up to your ear, especially when there is music on, and then you just bop away. Even when there is no music on you put it up to your ear and start bopping. That’s your way of telling us to turn it on for you.

Along those lines, when you want us to play music on the stereo you do the same thing. You put your hand to your ear as if you’ve got the iPhone and you bop your head and say “uh, uh, uh” until we put it on. If we don’t respond fast enough you go into meltdown!

You can now up on the couch on your own – big boy! You also walk up the stairs on your hands and feet instead of hand and knees.

This month I got a bike buggy from freecycle. It’s awesome! Dad has hooked it up to his bike and loves taking you on rides. You weren’t so sure about it the first time, but then started to relax once he got going. I think it’s one of Daddy’s favorite things to do with you.

You love sandwiches, toast, eggs, cereal, grapes, crackers, rice cakes and peanut butter, cheese, chicken nuggets, and fruit. You don’t like veggies or pasta, and you are back and forth about meat – sometimes eating a ton, sometimes not so much at all. You still love pureed veggies though (but refuse to be fed by someone else with a spoon for more than about three bites) so I’ve started giving you the pureed veggies that come in a squeezie pouch. That way you can feed yourself and I know that you’re at least getting some veggies in you! You eat a huge breakfast (like three bowls of cereal if we let you), a medium lunch, and sometimes only a few bites of dinner (or just a small one).

I feel like I say this one every month, but you still adore music and dancing. You just can’t get enough.

I taught you to do “ET  phone home” and point your index finger to mine. You think it’s hilarious and so does Mena. Every time Mena sees you he says “ET phone home” and puts his finger out, and every time you respond. He loves it!

You give high fives, and especially love to do it when you’re on the swings.

When you’re trying to get my (or Daddy’s attention) to look at something, you put your hand to our cheek and turn our face. You are very adamant that we look in the right direction.

My favorite time of the day is putting you to bed at night. Not just because I’m ready for you to be asleep (although some days I’m exhausted and so I am!) but more so because it’s when you calm down and get cuddly and affectionate. We’ve been doing the same routine pretty much since you were born: bath, diaper, jammies (daddy’s part), and then milk, stories, songs, prayer, and bed (my part). But now when I sing you songs in the dark, you sing back to me. You rest your head on my shoulder, wrap your tiny arms around me, and even pat me on the back. It seriously melts my heart. Every time.

Sometimes when I put you down for a nap you lay on your belly and then reach around and pat your bum. It’s your little way of telling me you’d like a few pats. Super cute.

You can now walk up stairs upright instead of crawling on your hands and feet. Of course you need to hold someone’s hand, but wow, you’re changing fast.

We also had a big parenting milestone this month. We left you overnight with Auntie Katie while we went and stayed in a hotel on the Strand without you. Of course you did great, and so did we. No doubt about it – we’re all growing fast.

I feel like there were so many changes this month, so much happening. Once again dear son, we are totally in love with you, proud of you, and captured by you. Our little music man, how wonderful you are!

love mom xx

toddler love

:: 13 months ::

You are now our toddler! Your first birthday party was so much fun. Nanny and Bop came for a visit and lots of friends came over. We threw you a big party and absolutely loved celebrating your life as well as our own first year of parenting.

We also “survived” a cyclone this month – Cyclone Yasi. In some ways it didn’t his us as hard as we thought it might (in terms of structural damage) but we did have a ton of fallen trees around the neighborhood and that sort of damage. Not only that but we had six days with no power! That was interesting, but we made it without too many problems. We’re so grateful that all of our friends made it through just fine.

sink baths during the week our power was out due to yasi

This month you’ve started talking lots more (intelligible words, that is – you have always been a big talker!). You say “ta”, “ussat” (what’s that?), and buh-bye. You also repeat many, many words like poo, up, etc. but you don’t voluntarily say them in context yet.

You sign “please” before snacks and meals and you’re beginning to also use it whenever you want other things too.

You’ve started pointing with your index finger. You used to just sort-of motion in the general direction, but now you are actually pointing. Such a simple thing but it is so, so cute!

You are still our music-lover and groover. You can’t hear it without dancing!

You’ve discovered the joy of sticks! Especially when we were camping with the base, you couldn’t get enough of sticks and banging on things with them.

Speaking of banging, you are now drumming on everything! You love to see what sounds different things make so it’s all about the banging at the moment!

You’ve started to really love brushing your hair and even sit very still when we are brushing your hair for you.

You’ve dropped your second nap and are now down to one nap a day! I wasn’t sure if I was ready to lose that second bit of quiet time, but I’m actually finding this wonderful and we can be much more flexible with our outings, which is wonderful. But since you are in transition you’re having to go to bed really early some nights – even 6pm on occasion!

a little bit sick for a week or so... teething we think

I’ve now dropped your daytime breastfeeding and I only nurse you in the morning and before bed. Not long now and you’ll be on cow’s milk exclusively. The transition was actually very easy and you barely seem to even notice.

And the big news for our family this month is that you’re going to be a big brother! We found out about the new baby about a week after your birthday. You have no idea what’s going on, but we are all so excited and we know you’ll just love having a little brother or sister in the family. Once you figure things out and adjust that is. Baby is due October 8.

Daddy and I just love this age! You are discovering everything, beginning to mimic us more and more, and just turning into such a little boy. (You’re also having fewer tantrums than last month, so that is really nice.) We love seeing your personality emerge more and love the little man you are becoming. We’re proud of you son! I hope I learn to say that a thousand times when you need to hear it and when you think you don’t. I’m proud of you.

love and kisses,

mama xx

happy birthday darling boy

:: 12 months ::

My darling firstborn son. How I love you! I don’t even know how to put it all into words. It’s hard for Daddy and I to believe that you are a year old now. You are such a delight to our hearts and have changed us forever for the better. This has been the best, hardest, most wonderful year of my life and I wouldn’t exchange it for the world. Thank you for making me a mother. I will always be grateful.

Here are some of the fun things you’ve been doing this month:

You’ve started to do some hand motions while singing songs now. Mostly you just wave your hands around in the air, but it’s so cute to see you trying.

You’re imitating lots more noises - blowing, dog, train, whistle, helicopter, fan, drain. Your sound for many of these is the same, but nonetheless, you think you are doing them “correctly”. It’s so much to see you learning all the time!

You can now easily get yourself off of mommy and daddy’s bed without any assistance. You just turn around and scoot off like it’s no big deal.

The tantrums have really increased this month. Oh. My. Goodness. You are an opinionated little lad, which I love, but it also means that when you are crossed you are cross! I know that you’ll eventually learn that tantrums won’t get you very far with me (or daddy) but in the meantime you’re giving me a run for my money! Your tantrums get much worse (more frequent) when you are teething or unwell or tired, and there seems to have been lots of that this month.

You are a dancing machine! Seriously, you can’t even hear a commercial jingle on TV or on the radio without bopping along to it or waving your hands. You also turn around, bounce up and down, do a little pelvic scoop, bop your head, do a little “whoop whoop” move with your hands… the list goes on. It’s hilarious and so endearing. We hope you never stop dancing!

You easily go up and down stairs now. (Crawling of course.)

You started walking! You were 11½ months when you really took off walking and have never looked back. I’m pretty sure you transitioned from crawling to running within a few days! You are fast and you love your mobility!

We’ve now taken you to the water park for the first time since you could walk on your own. You had a blast! You ran back and forth through the fountains and under the buckets. Our little man who has just learned how to walk has no fear of running in and out of the water toys. Super fun!!

You are still obsessed with books. Seriously! You always have piles of books around the house. You love them and can’t get enough.

We think you are teething your molars. It’s must be miserable for you! And of course it’s a bit painful for us too. Hopefully this won’t last too long.

You’ve been doing the scrunchie face a lot lately. Especially when you’ve misbehaved and you’re trying to look cute and innocent, or when you are irritated about something. It’s funny!

You still love the guitar. Whenever you are at the base you love watching the guitarists play during worship. If you see a guitar in a photo or something, you go nuts about that too. Our little music man.

When you want to listen to music, you wave one hand in the air and say “uh, uh, uh!” until we acknowledge it. Sometimes you want to hear music so bad that you will throw a mini-tantrum. You’re a man who knows what he wants!

You love peekaboo and will put your hands over your face when you want to play.

You give me a huge circus when it’s time to brush your teeth! You love to do it yourself (chew on the brush etc.) but when I try to take it back and brush them properly you go insane and kick and scream and arch your back. Wow, you make me sweat.

One of my favorite little things you do at the moment is put your arm around my shoulder when I carry you. You just hook it around and under the back of my arm. So simple but it melts my heart. Love.

At your one-year check-up you were _____ pounds (___ kilos) and ____ inches (___ centimeters). You’re right on track and a healthy average. Oh, and you barely cried when you got your immunizations. That was a relief and a blessing to mama. 

We love you sweetheart and we thank God for your precious life. Our lives are so much richer because of you.

love forever and always,

mama

a party for one

It was a good, good day... as evidenced by the amount of chocolate involved.

A chance to celebrate the life of you - our precious son... our treasure, our joy, our sweet, sweet boy.

We started off the day with fireworks--well, sort of--and opening pretty packages with Gigi and Gramps over skype and Nanny and Bop in person. How wonderful it was to have all of your grandparents present for... the presents.

And then of course was the party. There were lots of banners... big, floating balloons... party pies and sausage rolls (classic Aussie kids party food)... adorable and animated munchkins under three feet tall... many wonderful friends... brightly wrapped gifts... party hats... and of course cupcakes... many cupcakes. (We are still eating cupcakes.)

There was a make-shift photo booth... for laughs and memories and future blackmail material. (You weren't really in the mood, sweetie.)

There were squeals of delight... and well-wishes... three generations... and free play... live music performances by the little ones... and "helpers" for when you opened your gifts.

And of course there was chocolate... your first timid tastes of sugar which built to kneading and mashing and stuffing of your face... moments of hilarity... and lots, and lots, and lots of mess.

There were impromptu fake beards... and very dirty clothes... and a certain someone sent straight to the tub.

And after our little birthday boy was tucked up into bed... there was more celebration: toasting, laughing, and reminiscing. There were sincere prayers of thanksgiving and a few little tears of joy and gratitude.

It was a good, good day.

It was a great day.

And, although we most likely will not put such time and energy into parties to come, to mark this first year with a bang felt right and appropriate. Your life (and our parenthood) seemed worthy of our best effort. We thank the good Lord for the miracle of life and for the ability and means to celebrate well.


We love you forever, we'll like you for always. 


Love, 
mama & daddy xxox

365 days ago I met my son for the first time

A year ago today I was on the eve of my due date. My parents had flown in from overseas. My best mate was here, armed with the camera and snacks and lots of encouragement. And my husband and I were packed and ready to go.

It was a hot and humid day with sporadic rain showers. Emma and I swam and walked back and forth across the length of the near-by pool while my parents looked on from underneath the shelter and Ryan worked nervously at the office, waiting for a call at any time.

Baby was engaged.

Mama was feeling brave, excited, and at peace.

We were ready to go.

That night I went to bed with excitement, thinking (perhaps hoping) that I’d go into labor that night.

Then, around 2:00am–just hours after Levi’s official due date began–my waters broke and the contractions started hard and strong.

I was going to have a baby. My life was about to be turned upside-down.

It wasn’t until twelve hours later that I went to the birthing centre. By that time my contractions were consistently three minutes apart and we decided it was time to be in the care of our dear midwife.

Soon after arriving I had an internal examination (well, several of them actually), and then four or five different ultrasounds), only to find out that Levi was breech.

It was against hospital policy to birth breech babies in the birthing centre so I was transferred to the maternity ward and robed up for an unplanned c-section.

Although it wasn’t the natural water birth I had desired, I was glad that I was already in labor and things were progressing smoothly. Baby wasn’t in distress and neither was I. My body went into labor naturally, so I knew we were both ready. And my contractions were hard and strong and fast… but not so fast that they had to rush me through with urgency.

I can’t say that lying in an operating surgery and having someone cut you open to deliver your baby is ideal. I felt passive. I felt a little bit ripped off. I felt an element of sadness.

But mostly I felt relieved. And I felt glad.

I was so fortunate to have my child in a nation where the health care is amazing. Where doctors and nurses and my midwife took incredible care of me. The fact that my child was able to be delivered safely by cesarean was a great comfort, even despite the whirlwind of emotions.

I also felt excitement. I knew that in moments I would be meeting my beautiful boy for the first time.

If I could turn back the clock I would have requested a late term ultra-sound. I’ll never know if we would have been able to turn the baby if we’d caught it in time.

If I could turn back time to 5:46pm on Friday, January 26, 2010 I would have insisted that I got to hold Levi straight away while still on the operating table… rather than an hour and fifteen minutes later after they had sewn me up and done God-knows-what-else in the meantime.

But I can’t. And I’ve made peace with that.

Because when you are at peace, you are free to be grateful.

And grateful I am.

I refuse to let these things define the most life-changing moment of my existence. And I am grateful–beyond grateful–that I could even give birth at all.

I still cry when I hear stories of other mothers having their babies placed on their chest moments after that last push. I cry for what I wasn’t able to experience. I cry for my lost hour and fifteen minutes.

And yet my tears are small compared to the tears of so many mothers… and so many would-be, wanna-be mothers. So many mothers that didn’t even get an hour and fifteen minutes with their babies.

I was warned that a child’s first birthday is an emotional time for moms… And here I am, the day before Levi’s birthday and I’m an absolute hurricane of emotions. I believe it’s possible to be warned and caught off guard at the same time.

So what do I do? I finalize party plans. I wrap presents. I bake cupcakes. I imagine photos I want to capture on Levi’s big day. I think about how my husband and I want to celebrate our own milestone along with Levi’s. I pray. I give thanks. I write a lovesong for my boy. I look back through hundreds of photos and video clips and bawl my eyes out. Not because my baby is growing–I’m glad he’s growing and developing and progressing–but because life is short and I’m thinking I want to squeeze it a little bit more.

I’ve tried to relish, enjoy, savor, record, and live in the moment as much as I was able this last year. I wish I had done that more. There will always be more. But I also realize that I did my best. I gave it my all. I could not have done better.

In twenty-four hours time I will commemorate that moment… the moment I shared my first-born with the world:

5:46pm, Friday, January 29, 2010.

just arrived at the birthing centre after 12 hours of labor at home…
receiving the news that levi is breech.

this is me with my brave face while being prepared for the operating theatre.
although i was a little teary and disappointed, i was genuinely at peace… and very excited.

{first look}
he was the most beautiful thing i had ever beheld.

{first touch}
my heart still aches a little looking at this photo.
if a hand could convey longing, love…
i’m grateful at least, that ryan got to hold him straight away.

{first hold}
at last he was mine. my heart exploded a thousand times as he nursed and nuzzled. it was magic.

{first hold}
beaming with pride and joy as i looked at my husband
and midwife with levi snuggled up to my chest.

being wheeled into the maternity ward to introduce levi to my parents and emma.

emma, my mom, and my dad were all there from the beginning until the end….
they were so happy to welcome our miracle when we finally came out from surgery.
although plans changed, we couldn’t have shared this time with anyone more special.

my precious angel just hours old. the most beautiful and perfect newborn i’ve ever seen.

although i was dog tired, i didn’t want to go to bed that night. i didn’t want it to end.

our extremely happy family – healthy and head-over-heels in love.

room 50. our room 50. i’m so glad for this place.

I didn’t really mean for this to turn into a birth story, but I suppose in a sense it’s turned into a version of one… minus the detail. Writing about it again now, a year later, is comforting… almost therapeutic. I have so much to remember, so much to celebrate. I knew I’d be a mushy mess this week, but I’m surprised at how I’m enjoying the mush. It’s all part of the process, isn’t it? It’s all part of the process of growing, moving on, moving forward…

turning the page,

smitten mama